Blog
“SOLVING PROBLEMS AMONG BRETHREN #2”
SOLVING PROBLEMS AMONG BRETHREN #2
The suggestions listed here concern themselves largely with differences between brethren that are not matters of right and wrong, truth and error. However, the principles involved would apply to all problems whether doctrinal or not.
Have and maintain the right attitude. Humility is a must. When tempers flare and rage, sensible discussion is not possible. Remember to ask yourself, “what would the Lord do?” Would He speak like this? Would He work for a just solution?
Do not have the attitude it’s “their” problem, let them come to me. Scripture demands that whether we have been offended or are the offender, we move to be reconciled. “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift” (Matt. 5:23-24). “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother” (Matt. 18:15).
Do not have the attitude you’re “going to make them pay.” We cannot hold a grudge and be acceptable to God. We must seek what is best for others. Even the Lord pleased not himself (Rom. 15:2-3; Phil. 2:3).
Do not rub salt in the wound. When brethren recognize their fault and ask forgiveness, don’t belittle or shame them. Don’t tell them, “it’s about time!” Have a heart of compassion and helpfulness. Receive him back in loving arms. See Gal. 6:1-2. Love all men, especially a brother in the Lord. “He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now. He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes” (1 John 2:9-11). “Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him” (1 John 3:15).
Be willing to solve the problem. Acts 6:1-7 shows the brethren were willing to correct the problem. When such prevails, a just solution will be agreeable to all sides.
Be willing to compromise. It won’t hurt you to make concessions to help a weaker brother. Romans 14 has much to say about this. However, we cannot compromise on the Truth.
Be willing to swallow pride. “And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted” (Matt. 23:12). “...Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” (James 4:6). “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time” (1 Peter 5:6).
Truly consider the other side. Don’t think you have done no wrong and the entire problem lies solely with others —it may or may not. Listen to what they have to say, how they feel, what they think. Put yourself in their shoes.
Be willing to admit you are wrong. Be as David and say, “I have sinned” (2 Sam. 12:13). Don’t make excuses or seek to shift the blame. Be a man and admit your fault (cf. 1 Cor. 16:13).
Choose faithful and level-headed men to help resolve the problem. Sometimes it is necessary that others help. You may need a mediator(s). This was done in Acts 6:1-7. Be impartial. Be willing to abide by just decisions, even if it don’t go your way. You can never compromise the truth, but when the Bible truth is not at stake, then abide by fair resolutions.
Do all things in accordance to the Scriptures. This is an absolute —regardless of the problem. God’s Word always must govern our lives. It is by the truth that we will be judged (John 12:48; Rev. 20:12).
Recognize some problems cannot be resolved. But, this is only because the other party is unwilling to solve it. You may have gone the “second mile” in attempting to correct it. However, you must never violate the Scriptures yourself in an effort to be at peace with another. You can only do what is good and right. Others have to do the same. Sometimes they do not. When you have done all you can do, realize it’s out of your hands. Their blood is not on your head. God knows our heart and their heart. He will take care of the matter at the judgment.
Once the problem is solved, don’t keep bringing it up. Some hold a grudge long after a right and just resolution has been reached. If the problem has been worked out, let it die! Bury the hatchet! Don’t leave the handle sticking out of the ground so you can use it again. Put it behind you. To keep bringing a resolved problem up again and again shows you’ve either not forgiven or are unwilling for it to be made right. Jesus said, “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him” (Luke 17:3-4).
Are you willing to work for peace according to God’s word? If you’re in a problem, solve it. If you’re not in a problem, perhaps you can assist others in helping them solve theirs.
The end result of our lives, regarding all its twists and turns, is that God be glorified and that we may be at peace in this world.
