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“The Devil’s “Classifieds” - Help Wanted”
The Devil’s “Classifieds” - Help Wanted
Neal Pollard
Everyone must have an occupation. Paul, Aquila, and Priscilla were, “by their occupation,” tent makers (Acts 18:3). Demetrius and others at Ephesus were “silversmiths” (Acts 19:24-26). Joseph and his household were shepherds (Genesis 46:33-34). Jonah was a preacher (cf. John 1:8).
Spiritually, everyone will have a “vocation.” Christians have a calling of which they are to “walk worthy” (Ephesians 4:1). An individual, in obeying the gospel, is “hired” by God to “fulfill all the good pleasure of his goodness” and work “the work of faith…” (2 Thessalonians 1:11). The workers are “holy brethren,” the work a “heavenly calling,” the foreman is “Christ Jesus,” and the work order was appointed by “Him” (the Father) (Hebrews 3:1-2,4). but. even within the context of Hebrews 3, there is warning that Christians might, through hardness of heart, switch employers. The devil surely considers Christians as his most coveted and prized workers, for he already had the world on his “roll” (cf. 1 John 5:19). If the devil advertised, can you imagine the enticing tasks he would list to draw away God’s child?
“Needed: Hungry Cannibal. Must enjoy the taste of division and have an appetite for ‘devouring your brother.’ This job is risky, as you may get consumed by him. But, if you enjoy having ‘the brethren for lunch,’ this job is definitely for you. Ignore Galatians 5:15.”
“Skilled stage-actor wanted. If you are an experienced pretender at religion, enjoy playing church, and wear the name Christian only as a ‘front,’ your skills are needed immediately. Impure motives (Matthew 6:16), lip-service (Matthew 15:7-8), a knack for pretending to be holy while actually being wicked (Matthew 23:13-15,23, et al), and a joy of danger (Matthew 24:51) all are pluses!”
Opening for sheep thieves. Must employ ‘innovative approaches’ (John 10:1), have a willingness to ‘finish the job’ (John 10:10), have a glaring disrespect for the Shepherd, and intimidate the Shepherd’s hired hands (John 10:12). Will supply one camouflage uniform (Matthew 7:15).
“Work for pirates available. Can you shipwreck faith (1 Timothy 1:19)? Are you the type who enjoys ‘lying in wait’ to upset the ‘vessel’ of weak Christians (cf. Ephesians 4:14)? Are you bold enough to take hostages for your employer (2 Timothy 2:26)? An ability to take away from God’s word is an asset (Revelation 22:19). Apply immediately. Too much good is being accomplished.”
“Would you like a sales position? We need you to sell Divine truth (Proverbs 23:23), bargain for this world’s goods with your soul (Matthew 16:26), and be willing to make your children expendable to be a ‘success’ (cf. 1 Timothy 5:8; Proverbs 22:6). All receipts are kept on file (cf. 2 Peter 2:13).”
“Experienced travel agent desired. Can you give tours of the :Far Country” of sin (cf. Luke 15:13)? Applicant needs to be able to lead others on our charted destinations (2 Timothy 3:6; 2 Peter 3:17). If you can find creative routes away from the worship assemblies (Hebrews 10:25) and provide distracting excursions that lead groups away from involvement in church work (cf. Haggai 1:4,6; John 4:35; Matthew 25:24), we want you! Slothfulness (Hebrews 6:12) an appreciated quality for this job! Must be willing to travel away from your first love (Revelation 2:4).”
“Calling all unskilled carpenters: We are looking for individuals who build on the sand (Matthew 7:26-27). We will provide every foundation for you to build upon except Christ (1 Corinthians 3:10). You don’t even need to be good at framing (cf. Ephesians 2:21). We prefer that you keep busy rebuilding the sinful lifestyle you tore down by coming to the Lord (cf. Galatians 2:18; 2 Peter 2:0-22).”
All the while, Christ calls for workers, too (Matthew 9:37-38). Too many have answered the adversary’s ads (2 Corinthians 11:13; Philippians 3:2). both the Lord and “the Liar” (John 8:44) provide extensive retirement plans [after all, they’re both everlasting] (Matthew 25:46). While everyone will be rewarded according to his works (Matthew 16:27), the devil’s “perks” are profitless (cf. Romans 6:23)! Who are you working for?
